A good day

We received good news today. My mom called me with gladness in her voice. It was like opening up the windows and letting in a warm spring breeze. Even better than that (can it get better than that?) - she laughed. A real laugh. Her true "I'm feeling happy" laugh. Her laugh is wonderful. It was like music to me today. I haven't heard it for a while now. But, there it was. Right at the surface just like it used to be. She was wonderful. And then, she told me that I had helped her. I started crying. Isn't it funny that no matter how old you get, that you now have children of your own, it still feels so good to have your mom tell you that you have done well. I think of Abigail sitting at the piano, practicing her little heart out. She then turns to me and says "Was that good, mom?" Aren't we always looking for approval? And doesn't it feel so delicious to have it? It was like warm sunlight shining right down onto my bald head.

I had been feeling a little helpless for awhile. I have these 4 beautiful children, and I can't always be there for mom. It's a delicate balance with the frantic effort in trying to do whatever I can for her, and the reassurance to the kids that grandma is going to be okay. I have become a tight rope walker, which is not fun at all. But there I was on the phone with my sweet, wonderful mom, having her tell me that I had made something a little easier for her. As I drove to her house to take her shopping, tears of joy came with. She is working so hard right now, and doing it with such strength and grace. She is doing all the heavy lifting, and still she said that I had eased that burden - even if it was by just a little bit. She managed to comfort me. And then we went shopping, just like we always did. She colored with Leah and laughed again as she teased her. There was sunshine again. It was amazing; almost as amazing as she is.