Although the test came back positive months ago, and I have been rudely waking up the bottom of the toilet very early every morning for weeks and weeks, I didn't officially become pregnant until today.
Today I broke out the maternity clothes.
There is one problem with me and maternity clothes. It seems that whenever I'm not expecting, the maternity clothes are cute, fashionable, and cheap. They actually look like something a real person would wear, and in the daylight even. Whenever I am pregnant, however, the maternity clothes turn into big (and I mean BIG) rolls of fabric that some poor 2nd grade class tried to make into a pop-up tent or a big duffel bag to haul the soccer balls out to recess, but failed miserably. They then use these massive failures as the selections for my entire maternity wardrobe. In fact, the uglier the maternity clothes, the more convinced my sisters are that I'm pregnant, even before we have announced it. They'll pull out one of the hideous selections from the rack and say "oh, you're totally pregnant". And low and behold, I am!! I dislike maternity clothes, intensely.
As soon as I begin wearing my maternity clothes, I end the "doesn't my little bulging belly make me feel feminine" feeling, and just feel like a big beer bellied cow. A big cow trying to cover her beer belly with a giant turquoise flowery poncho with sleeves. Usually puffy sleeves. Ugh.
Jeb has even ventured into the way too expensive, uppity, snobbish maternity stores, that usually don't allow us to enter, to see if he can find something that could be considered marginally attractive. He would have paid whatever the price to make me feel better about my homely appearance. He came out empty handed. If, however, we went into those same stores right after I have had a baby, we would stand there open jawed at all the lovely choices.
It has to be some kind of curse. That or a terrible, terrible, extremely mean joke. One more thing to put on my list of why these kids owe me big time. "We had to drive to the hospital in the worst snow storm of the century when I was in labor with you! And then, when we got there, my labor lasted for 197 hours! And the anesthesiologist was busy for 196 1/2 of those hours! And, to top it all off, I had to wear the ugliest clothes you can imagine once my waist disappeared!!" Oh, they will pay, these kids. They will pay.
you always make me laugh. Congrats by the way, even though I've known for awhile! Still trying to convince David for another one. he said when Captain Moroni came and told him to his face that we should have another one, then he'll think about it.
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